The power of an apology

There's an interesting thing about human nature. We all make mistakes. We can acknowledge we make mistakes, as do others. However, many of this have this unrelenting need to hear someone acknowledge when they've made a mistake through an "I'm sorry."

Why is the "I'm Sorry" so important in daily life and communications? I suppose it resonates with people because they feel their issue was heard...they were right...it cleans the slate and allows both parties to move forward.

While there are hundreds (my husband will likely say thousands) of issues I can think of where a simple "I'm sorry" from someone would have turned things around and allowed me to move forward in a positive tone, one stands out in particular. This was a mind-boggling example of poor customer service:

At my salon, I used to pay for a senior stylist. Women are all familiar that there are different prices charged for haircuts and blow-outs based upon a stylists "level" of training. I was paying $45 for the cut/style (a good ten years ago). My stylist cut my hair as usual, but since she overbooked herself, she sent over "Amber," a stylist in training to blow me out (sounds dirty typing this) and style my hair. Part of why I enjoyed going to the salon was to get that really nice blow dry...the one I have never in decades been able to replicate at home.

I feel awkward and uncomfortable saying anything to my regular stylist and sit fuming while Amber styles my hair with a disappointing show of talent. This defeated the purpose of paying top dollar for the senior level stylist. I decide to sit quiet and say something to the salon manager when I paid.

I ask for the manager when I'm checking out. I discreetly pulled her aside and reminded her that I've been coming to that salon for years, and was disappointed that my regular stylist didn't style my hair and that a trainee was sent to finish me out. I wasn't looking for a free haircut or any kind of a discount, I just wanted to be heard and understood. The manager proceeds to tell me that this was "for my own benefit," as my stylist was quite busy and using Amber helped her. I'm scratching my head at this point, not really understanding how Amber helping my stylist was of any benefit to me, when I was paying for a certain level of experience. I think I somewhat snarkily pointed out to the manager that the real benefit was to the salon and my stylist so they could pack in more clients, rather than focusing appropriate attention to each client.

From there, our conversation spiraled (as they often do when I don't hear what I need to hear). The salon manager remained defensive and rather bitchy about the whole incident, finally throwing her hands up that I was not satisfied with her answer.

All I wanted was a simple apology. "I'm so sorry you had an unpleasant visit, Ms. Rafizadeh. Your stylist was getting backed up, and while I realize this was an error in our over-booking, I thought having Amber style you would be preferable to waiting longer."

Had I heard this, I probably would have apologized in turn for saying anything and expressed appreciation that they tried to rectify the situation (albeit with Amber).

Instead, I left angry and never returned to that salon again. Never underestimate the power of a simple apology to turn around an angry or disappointed customer. There's something very humbling in hearing an apology from someone that can turn anyone, even me, around.